One year ago today, I was sitting on my sofa painstakingly typing into this little thing called Blogger, not quite sure of what I was doing or where I was going, but knowing that it felt right. It's a bit silly and strange to put your ideas out into cyber world. You've heard many a blogger say this before, but what seems a solitary event (typing alone on your computer, usually late at night, in bed with a plate of Oreos) is really one of the most supportive, creative, driven, and inspiring groups of people out there. This is not something earthshaking, unless you're the one whose earth is being shaken.
I get a lot of questions about the blog, but the single biggest is, "how did it start?" I tend to put a gloss spin on everything, yes, go ahead and imply the pun. But this year I've learned that life gets messy. Very messy at times-usually when you least expect it and usually all at once. A year ago, my life got very messy, very quickly. All of the things that I thought defined who I was, simply crumbled away. A relationship that I thought was forever, ended abruptly and painfully. The house that I had put my heart and soul into brick by brick suddenly didn't feel like home. And a job that looked shiny and glossy on a resume, was eating away at the very core of who I was. My relationship, my home, my work...the trifecta that we all clamor over each other to get to first...it was all gone.
And in the darkness, when I couldn't see up from down, I decided to just let it all go- everything I thought was important, and just do what felt right to me everyday. I wasn't sure where it would take me, and I didn't really care. A lot of people had many, many opinions about it, but I mostly brushed them away. I was no longer concerned with what I was supposed to do. It was enough that I was moving, in whatever direction felt like forward.
I believe that you come across experiences and people when you most need to learn from them. And I did-everywhere I looked. Women who were not just inspired, but organizing that inspiration into something tangible, something passionate. I didn't really even have to search, I just needed to look; I stumbled across inspiration at every turn. Small bits and pieces that I don't think I would have noticed before, suddenly surrounded me. And that inspiration became this blog.
How did it start? It started out of darkness and turned into light. Why do I do this? I do this for me (and you too; every one of you who emails and comments and reads). Where is it going from here? That's the beauty of it...I have no idea!
Image: Lindsey Harper